Who am I?

Who am I?
Of course I know my own name. The actual thing I want to know is who am I for you guys?

FRIENDS?
I heard someone said that TA doesn't have a friend same class with TA. Then who am I?
I heard someone said that TA want to same class with TA's friends. Then who am I?
I heard someone said that TA doesn't have friend. then who am I?

A TROUBLE MAKER?
I heard someone said that I said something bad and make many people felt ver embrassed. Excuse me. What had I done?
I heard someone said that I'm not that concentrate and very playful and not respond to elders. Excuse me. What had I done?

I really confuse that who am I for them.Friend? Trouble maker? Or just someone called as FRIEND?I DON'T KNOW!
Okay. I know some of them take care of me. But, got how many of them?
I felt like I'm a KID that always cause them trouble.

I'm so sorry if I can't hang out with you guys. But that doesn't mean our friendship will become bad just because if we doesn't have many times to stick together. I know TIME will change a lot of things. When our friendship change by times...I'm so sad with that. REALLY!!! I think you guys know how's my family condition. I doesn't like you all dare to argue with parents. I'm not that brave.

I already trying to not let you guys look out what happen to me. But I realize that's so tired and very uncomfortable. Like now. Posting these at the midnight aren't a good news. You know?

I'm trying to do better and better. But looks like I'm worst than before. I think if I continue like this I will become very untalkative. I just feel that I become quiet, shut up, stop asking question will be more better.

I'm sorry if I misunderstood you guys. But, that's the feeling I got.

安全感。
Who else can give me?I think that's one of a reason that I like to sleep. At least when I was sleeping, all the dream happen not truth and won't if that's a nightmare. But, in reality, what else will happen. You can't estimate what will happen next.

你们给我的笑容让我感觉到你们是爱我的。但是，真正的又会有多少个人呢？


我想过很多次，那天是不是不要让我觉得我被丢下而勉强自己叫我去的呢？我总觉得我是另一个世界的，你们永远都不会来的世界甚至也不会发现到。


我真的很需要安全感。谢谢。